Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year 2009!

new year is about to steps in - u want it or not. its ere. in coupla hrs from now. as for me - its jst like changin days, dates n such - nothin much. time flies damn bloody fast nowadays, dat sometimes u feel like ur not able to catch up thgs well anymore. i gez dats the way it is..

as for me - i aint havin no new year resolutions. i mean - a pure resolution. i am bad in stickin to one. let alone if i hav em a few.. dammit, God sake - it wont work out. it was like few yrs back dat i started not to hav a pure resolution for a new yr. but then - i am still havin some 'minor' ones - which yg aku rasa aku wld be able to catch up well, yg aku rasa aku'd be able to establish em good enuff - so dat at least i'll be havin a bit more changes in life, as the time goes by.

so wat am i goin to hav for the next yr in 2009? i gez its gonna be like dis;

  • i'll keep in mind - constantly - dat life's short. i gotta make worth of it well.
  • i'll be less serious, more smiley faces dammit
  • i'll break more rules - hows dat?
  • i will try to forgive and forget - more
  • will love truly, appreciate loves well, respect it as it is
  • eat less, gym more, sleep more.

heh - typical one, aye? hows yrs?


for my love ones..

I'm The Lucky One
oleh: Anuar Zain

ku persembahkan satu cita ku..
setulus hati hanyalah untukmu
dan ku lakukan semampu aku tuk menyayangimu
hingga kau merasa jadi pujaan ku
meski bercinta kadang tak indah
tapi tuk buktikan kau yg terindah
dan kupastikan..i'm the lucky one..
nikmati cinta lebih dari segalanya..
jiwaku ini yg tak tersentuh
kini terasa sejak bersamammu
berikan hangat hinggaku tak mampu berjauh drmu
kerna kau yg bisa buatku bahagia
meski bercinta kadang tak indah
tp tuk buktikan kau yg terindah
dan ku pastikan i'm the lucky one
nikmati cinta lebih dari segalanya
caramu membuatku tak berdaya
hatiku pun ribut terjaga
kau ubah hidupku ini jadi sempurna
meski bercinta kadang tak indah
tp tuk buktikan kau yg terindah
dan ku pastikan i'm the lucky one
nikmati cinta lebih dari segalanya

p/s; i am not really keen in listenin malay songs - but yet i do sometimes; must confess there r some yg betul2 beautiful n meaningful, like the above. i started listenin to Anuar Zain eversince his 2nd album tak silap aku.. and the latest one - as for me - is a superb effort of him, really. and i must confess i do really love the above number.. and for the new yr in a few hrs to come - i'd like to share dis song wit u ppl out there, and wit u too - my love ones. i am glad knowin u. i am glad havin u. tho ur mght not somethg yg kekal for me, or perhaps milik sepenuhnya for my ownself - i am glad for wat i am havin now.. and i swear to God i wanna make it worth of every seconds wit u around, definitely. u've changed my life, my whole bloody life. i aint good in words - but i really hope u know wat i am tryin to say..

moron. period.

i caught dis one while drivin, and it was on one of the famous English radio in town now.. havin dis so-called interview wit one of the gal for final cover gal for FHM mag, if i was not mistaken. and it goes like dis;

dj : so tell me somethg - ru single?

the gal : dats the tuff one.

dj : watdya mean tuff? its a matter 'yes' or 'no' only maa..

the gal : y? u hav anyone to suggest?

dj : owh yes! *tooooot* is single.. (screamin like losin mind)

the gal : hahahaha.. (hysterically laugh out loud), well - i din say dat!!
(laugh again)

..and it left me like - hello. wat kinda moron is dat? tak faham soalan ke? very the typical gal yg giler glamour. heh. some ppl really gotta go back to school then!!

erk - emo kah aku?

and - another one..

"and - hungamungous, too"

p/s; God Lord - wats dat mean? huhu

sms - dat makes u go ga-ga!

"..dah, bihun goreng, karipap, vade, Nescafe kaw kaw..

tapi yang paling kenyang sekali makan mms gambar u tadik.. hehe..
so yummyliciuosly, gorgeorifically, hunkamazingly fcuktastic.."

p/s; how wld u feel if u receive dis kinda sms? i laughed out loud to myself, and had dis constantly ear to ear kinda smilin. nice try. i mean - look at the terms! new, eh? yet - it is so damn nice to hav dis once in a blue moon. made my day! huhu

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

its Tuesday anyway! watdya expect?

basicly - dis is wat i do for the whole day, today! heh. typical. but i am doin OK at it.. close my eyes and i can still be doin em all alrite. yet by end of the day - tho wit too many negative thgs lingered around - i managed to thru the day pretty well. made some decisions, laser2 sket, some thinkin, eatin, shittin as usual. hehe.. it counts too, rite? heh.

early in the morn, masuk je keje.. dah kena called for a meeting pengurusan. its sucks, big time. i hate meetings. especially when u so-called em as meetings, yet the desicion is already there. masuk meetin jst to listen to all the decision made. i was like - fcuk! how dare on earth wld u call dat as a bloody meeting? dammit. some ppl need to go back to school and learn thgs. heh.

despite the hectic hrs i am havin - i still managed to sneak out hell yeah. Akbar n his best-buddy Fendi dropped in since they r on the way down to KL from Penang for the so-called New Year thinggie. heh - jeles aku. for so many thgs. and one of it, is - they r able to go u-la la for the NY, yet on the NY aku gotta back to the office since pendaftaran freshies on dat particualr day! sucks. but then - wld dat be nice, doin good things for ppl.

yeah rite. shut up. it aint gonna tune my head rite. period. NY? workin? huwaaaaa..

i got another briefin durin the lunch-time. together wit a so-called bye-bye-makna-makan thang for coupla staffs yg nak berpindah, pencen, naik pangkat and such (includin Din - he's resignin for a better one in KLMU). aku mintak excuse wit the big boss - for i gotta be in MOPD by 2pm. so there i go.. MOPD sucks. again. managed to talk to one of the pakar. they gav me a TCA date. and u know when it'd be? 24 Feb 2009! HELLO - it is like wat.. 2 months away? i was like boldy fire staff-nurse kat kaunter tu, 'mcm ni, mati dulu pun sempat..' wit a fake laugh after dat. and dammit, she laughed out loud too (suprisingly! idiot). rasa mcm nak lempang je staff-nurse tu. but then - aku faham.. the waitin list. be it lah. i mght be goin off for private je lah senang..

done wit MOPD thang around 3pm - aku decided not to go to the office anymore (for aku tak rela stranded kat sana lagik!).. so aku off to the gym - it aint pack dat particular 3.30pm - 5pm, so i had a ga-ga time there.. the whole floor for my ownself. heh!

..and jog for another 1hr after dat, up till 6.30pm. siap tukar baju lagik, kan? since if i started to sweat - i'll sweat like shait. be it due to watever cause it is. bley? huhu

home before Magrib, had my early lite dinner - tgk2 Buletin Utama jap.. and ere i am jugglin wit thgs yg tak sempat siap kat office - gotta do it back at home. stop makin me dat faces. i know it aint rite - bringin office's stuffs back home kinda thang. but, heh - do i hav any choice to choose? nope. i am not. but then - kat meja study.. belakang aku satu lagik meja - 'tenet desk' as i called it - the internet is on. FB, Blogspot etc. once aku rasa nak muntah due to excessively bored, i'd jst turn the chair n seek some ease from my 'tenet desk'. lovely! huhu

Monday, December 29, 2008

at random; KL/Putrajaya

the below pics r takes on our recent family trip to KL/Putrajaya for kak yang's nyer adik ipar's wedding (faham tak? hehe).. since dah kat KL - puttin up a nite there for a nite, we adik bradik decided to bring mum and dad to Putrajaya pusing2.. abah dah biasak dgn Putrajaya, while mum - far as i concern - she never been there la kot. so - abes la anak branak pusing2 the whole Putrajaya (not the whole, actually) dlm panas yg Tuhan je tau (thank God, i was on wit my sunscreen yeah! haha).. by end of the day - aku yg drove back to Ipoh while sumer org berdengkor like nak rak keter.. and the same thang goes wit abg ngah's.. aku rasa nak berenti je tepi jalan and - hah, meh kita tido beramai2!! bley?

Soleh's nyer keje..

..i adore dis.

at Kesas's Satay Kajang.

yeah, i know i'm cute.. bley?

masjid. kan?

all the tiangs..

Damia mcm Statue of Liberty.

all the mini-monsters doin own's posing.

yeah baby, yeah!

abg uda membalas dendam..

is it a bird? it is a Superman? nay - its a cow's dung.

another view.

aku wit my wicked sista - kak yang. she's crazy alrite.

wit all the monsters - in line. c'mon everybody, pak long will teach u how to pose like.. erk - Tyra Bank, may be?

at random; Lata Tebing Tinggi

these pics below taken durin the long break recently - to one of the local Lata Tebing Tinggi which is around my place back in kampung. mum decided to ajak all her anak beranak, cucu-cucu for mandi manda while he cooked a simple meals - nasik panas2, sambal petai, ikan kering goreng.. which was like.. 'wooooww'. we had a great time, especially wit kak yang around - she's back for her one mnth leave from her phd course back there in UK.. wit her 2 gals, Husna Adilla and Husna Aleeya yeah! along together was kak ngah & her fmly, aku and Soleh my lil bro.

Kimie, aku, kak yang and her Husna Adilla.

Soleh's nyer keje..

u wanna cum in? jumpin in wit me? yeah baby! hehe

Nurul Areena doin her jumpin jumpin..

the moon. do u see the moon there? u'd better do. or else.. hehe

pak long and his Kimie doin thang..

Husna Adilla gone greakin away.

..and Kimie too. sawan for a while.

erk - no. i aint doin the wee wee thang, pls.

at random; Eid'ul Adha

i know Eid'ul Adha has been long gone. i wanted to upload dis pics into the blog; yet i din do so.. so since i aint got much thang to do today - despite killin time wit nothg at all - think i shld be doin dis, for tho i know it is like 'a history' - but its ok lah.. as usual - these r some random pics takes durin the break wit the whole family from Kelantan back to Taiping - durin Eid'ul Adha. i gez i din need to elobrate the whole pics, for each of em got own stories - depends on our own solely perception, i supposed.

mum wit her sibblings - (from left) mum, mak long, mak tam, mak cik, pak tam n kak su.

my 3rd bro. - acik tergolek after the raya thang.

Kelantan - during the Eid'ul Adha; the flood was pretty bad.. at the back of the hse - it was a sawah bendang before.

Eid'ul Adha - heh, u know wat i mean.

dis aint my birdie, anyway.

me and Damia. and my vroooommm! car

chocs and more like dat. dis is wat i got from Kak Yang - she brought em all the way from UK.. ''so dat along will get the same dagu like mine!". heh.. bley? and my first-jersey-in-life, too.

'i know i am darn pretty alrite..', Damia.

Kimie in his suit wit his daddy's toy.

Mohd. Akmal Hakimie - one of the minimonster yg rapat dgn aku.. kalo tak nyusahkan idup pak long dia, mmg tak sah! pagi Eid'ul Adha.

me wit his sibblings - whole of em! (from left) - Mohd. Solehin (bongsu), Nor Shahida (angah), me (along), Nor Shuhaila (ayang), Mohd. Shahir (acik).. erk - Hasif there, he's Acik's first lad.

mak long's

mak long wit her best 'pengat labu'.. wallllaaaaaaaaaaaa!

do i look fat?


dis used to be my bendang..

Banjaran Titiwangsa.. otw back to Kelantan.

yet, still - another one.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


i keep on havin dis buggin kinda headache lately. its not a real headache alrite, but wat else to call it then? its kinda numb feelin, deepseated down there in yr head and it wont let go.. no crampin, no pulsatin, no nothg. i went down for Stugeron and Brufen, hoppin it'll leave me at ease.. even for a while. i am still havin dis referal letter to MOPD - i am not sure when nak antar ke sana.. the waitin list is like.. fuck!. talked to Ajak jst now - it doesnt makes me at ease either.. he kept on comin up wit dis TIA la, kena go for MRI la, apa la.. and i was like - hello, its a headache je. and my Bp is OK. but then again - i know myself darn well. another denial in progress, may be? damn.

wats love is, anyway?

woke up darn way too early - i cldnt back to sleep. tot i wanna jst spend my Sat in the bed.. yeah rite. but then again - i was jst there in bed for hrs, doin nothg. mum cooked some nasik lemak - i cld smell it rite to bedroom indeed. she'll be leavin for Taiping soon, wit dad and Soleh. and so forth wit Kak Ngah's family. thinkin about it - home will be darn sunyi sepi wit out the mini monsters doin their shufflin around, jumpin up and down like nobdy biz and turnin my home from a good place into somekinda kandang kuda. it was a real mess - but i love it yeah..

around 9am - aku jumped outta bed - gotta send my cousin to YoYo express terminal; she'll be leavin for Kuching from KL around 3pm i think.

i wanna write more. but i am not sure of why shld i. theres so much thgs botherin me inside. the tots of missin someone kinda botherin me yeah - i din hate it alrite. i love it God sake. but for not be able to let it out, sayin it out loud, wit borders around me - makes me feel like restricted, theres so many beautiful hearts i need to take care of - dat i din hav a heart to hurt any of em.. so - ended up hurtin myself. i hate bein selfish. i jst hate it. but i cannot afford hurtin my ownself like dis.. i wish i cld do somethg about it alrite. i wish i cld jst do somethg, really. but do i hav any choice to choose then? no, i am not. i love it s much dat i refused to lose it alrite.

and i cldnt take risk to let it loose from me, period.

Friday, December 26, 2008

its hard..

its hard when ur missin someone - yet u cant say it out loud. its hard when ur missin someone - u hav to hold it inside - so dat nbdy will get messed up. and its hard when ur missin someone - yet u hav to pretend ur alrite, while deep down - ur fucked up!


Wednesday, December 24, 2008


after done wit the Stress Managemnt talk in SMK Al-Hidayah, Ipoh - aku trus shot to the doc., previously before went to see her - aku alrdy talked to her thru the phone. she considered my case as 'arkward' and 'tho i've heard it before - i never tot it'd be darn serious like dis' kinda thang.. finally after 30minutes of consultation - she decide to giv me some medication (most of em r painkiller, alrite) and refered me to the MOPD for proper consultation. heh - another long wait of waitin to do..

and may be effect of the medication - aku jadi mengantok sesgt.. mak ayah n adik2 aku plus mini2monsters kat rumah yg serba kecik neh - i must say the house is like 'tongkang pecah' alrite.

nite nite.. Merry Christmas.. n Happy HoHoHolidays!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

wat a day..

its an ordinary day. ordinary not dat ordinary alrite. it is a startin for the 'old-me' back again, but i know i am gonna be alrite. its the 'lookin forward for a new thg' is all dat matters, i think. and i am lookin up for dat particular moment, alrite.

reached the office by 8.30am - after sendin a fren of mine to Medan Gopeng since he gotta leave for KL, and had a simple breakfast wit him too. back at the office - darn! aku got like a fews memos, letters and notes from ntah saper2 ntah.. and i was like - heh, baru je cuti sehari je smlm!! mcm ampeh. and yeah - i got few crucial works to be settled towards the lunch time, and 1 major task before end of the workin hr. punah la harapan aku nak ke gym awal ari neh.. heh!

done wit my materials for trow Stress Management talk - aku terus email to the organizer. it is alrdy late, i know.. shldve done it coupla days back. but then - aku cuti, tak sempat2 pun siap.. but at least - i do hope they can be doin somethg to it, and by trow morn on my talk - the hands-out r ready for the participants. cuma preparation for my ownself je belum really up to the par.. gotta go back n read a bit, i think. list utk kursus internal, attachment and oversea dah kuar - aku fill up accordingly.. aku mintak attachment for Kaunseling at HUKM - since mmg patut aku go for it last yr lagik, tp tertangguh.. so - hopefully dpt next yr.. and HIV Counselling for a month in Bangkok, kalo dpt.. next year lar.

its a damn hot day today. aku rasa perit sgt kulit neh - bahang. i din even dare to go for a lunch.. ptg around 5pm pun the heat is still there.. i think i did a good choice too - to skip the gym instead n no jog for today - i mght as well be havin a lite wt-liftin at home je.. dpn the idiotbox.

btw i received dis from Shah.. look at his head!! perkhhh.. caya la lu bro! botak cakap lu. bro, nampak ensem la bro!! apasal lu tak buat awal2 mcm ni bro? bro - lu pi tunggu kat kereta.. 15 minit wa tak balik, lu blah dulu bro.. heh - tiber2 kan? hahaha..

btw, shah - u look much better in dis. millions and millions of ppl will be havin a heart-break real soon. watch-out!