packing!

I hate doing dis. It makes my whole surrounding bersepah2, and suddenly - ur thking dat 'tak pe, tak byk brg' and ur dead wrong kinda thang. Brg yg ntah mana2 ntah dtg, and u'd left in suprise God sake. And u too, hav to decide wat to bring and wats not, wat to keep and wats not. Tgk je la bilik stdy aku - argkh! nak pegang buku pun tak selera. But i got no choice. I hav to start s'where. Moving out is not sthg dat everybdy wants to. And aku pun. I dun want to pun, really. But we hav to change, for life's sake. And i gotta get dis process, done - before end of there.. Adoi.

life, again.

its a lunch time. yet i dun feel like goin out - its way too hot out there dat i prefer to jst stick in ere - in my room wit the air-cond rite on my head, well. after all - lunch up, alone? pathetic, it is. Ajak is in KL. Apiz in Alor Star. Mr Bong did ask me out for lunch - tp.. erm, malas la. may be after the meeting soon - i'll catch one. and yeah - dis last minute called for a meeting at 2.30pm.. adoyaaaayy! sickening la. i hate last minute nyer notis, when i alrdy planned well for the whole day - at early in the morn., well. back then - flexibility rules. in life, u stick ur life up the wall; and wont giv in once in a while - u'd put urself in stress - a bit more, God sake. i hate attending meetings, and dats the fact. but the ability to called off aku nyer program ptg ni - jst to attend dis 'silly' meeting; i think dah cukup baik la kot..


10.30 am rite up to 12pm - i talked on Stress and Health. shldve finished up the whole module - tp since its noon, and its like - once u look at the stdnts' faces pun, u dah stress - i let em off 45mins early. and they were jumping like reachin the ceiling well. heh. keji lah. sgt2 keji. tak pe la - if dat makes em happy, i'd be happy as well. or, vice versa? ermm AMK? haha.. jst dat i believe in readiness. when the stdnts ready to learn well, then they will. but if they r not - or the 'readiness' sort of 'fade away', theres no use to contain em, any longer. buat la apa pun - lawak babs gulin2 atas lantai pun, tak der makna nyer.. for they alrdy hav their mind - wandering out of the hall. so - heh, go and get it then!


before i called off the day wit the juniors tadik - aku sempat talked about the so-called 'life'. told them on how kdg2 expectation - too much of it - can lead to disaster. about wat life is. about how life shld be. and such. and i remember how all of them were like looking up at me wit sort of faces.. i dunno how to explain. impressed? wondering? tak faham? i dun know. and i remember how the class went silent for a while, at dat particular time.


back in the office. i started receiving coupla sms-es asking dis and dat. aku tersandar jap.. i wish they know, i aint dat perfect. i am not perfect, at all. i am not tryin to portray myself, or being one too. i wish they know how i've made mistakes in life - and sometimes; i keep on doin the same thg - again and again, and found myself weeping over it like shait - for i never learn. i remember telling em all, 'its ok to make mistakes.. theres nthg wrong for being wrong sometimes.. as long as learn. but if u keep on doin the same mistakes - again and again; w/o learning taking place - then ur a moron!'. damn, rasa mcm berdiri dpn cermin pun ada.


heh. life IS a learning process, itself. tell me about it!


i gez - theres nthg wrong, to be myself. i am learning. went thru shait, alrite. i've made mistakes. a lot of it. so wat? sometimes i do learn. very well. well enuff dat i refuse to face the same shait, again. but sometimes - i was so blinded dat i hardly learn. and dat hurts. its not dat i dun wanna learn - and change. sometimes, i hardly help myself pun.. *sigh* i dun know.


i am living life, and i am learning. and dis wont stop, God sake. unless, the life stops in between.


and dats somethg else.

*sigh*

white owl, anyone?

back home around 6pm semlm ptg - no gym no jog.. i was pretty darn tired - feverish still but i jst take it lightly anyway - feverish, i wasnt havin dat real fever anyway. singgah pasar mlm before hit home - i hate wondering wat to eat and wat not. singgah gerai mak cik Siti - i jst love her laksa Penang so much dat i was havin a full bowl to myself. bloated wit laksa - aku hit home.. sakit badan - God knows. i did nothg except terbungkang in front of the idiotbox wit mata half-closed (i think its the medication lah!), half-finished OJ wit remote on the other hand. by 12.30am - aku tersedar - i was sleeping there from i-wasnt-sure-wat-time, lazily.. i crawled upstairs. 1am - aku still cant sleep like aku wish aku'd be.. so, aku ended up turun balik - kemas rumah, did the laundry, basuh kereta.. kinda depressing, hell yeah. the stars.. the moon. heh. 3.30am - i was pretty damn tired, i finally dozed off. alhamdulillah.


the body aching still there. but i bet i am gonna be ok. no time for being 'lembik-lembik'. i am off for clinical teaching in psyche ward at 9am, Stress and Management lecture at 10.30am and hav a meeting to attend by 2.30pm.. argkhh.. keji la. baru je plan nak pi Hospital Ipoh for some reason and hit home rite after dat. all dis keje last minit btol suffocates me.


i had my mind cleared. except for one thg - i dun really keen to think of. i'd jst go wit wat it takes, and see how thgs goes. other than dat - i gez i am doin fine.


pejam celik pejam celik - dah February. another 10 months to go, it'd be another new year.. i gez. i am wondering how's it gonna be.

*sigh*

Daughtry - What About Now..

"What About Now"
*Daughtry*




Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the stars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

makan makan..

Nu-In; Little Perak in Bangi.
try it, if u got time!

i am not sure who r dis grandpa & grandma
- who cares? the foods r fantabulous!

the nice ambience.. but they gotta work on
the music wise.. i think.

the look-alike thang?
heh.

u know wat it is.

one of the b&w poster up on the wall.
personally, i kinda like it well..

these big bantals drive me ga-ga

the tarik Ipoh, creamy and sweet - not my cuppa..
but nice!

popia Taiping.. i am not sure nape named dat way,
but again - they r damn nice! my fav anyway..
cost me only rm1.50 sajork per set
had 2 sets of em. heh!

nasik lemak Perak - sambal sotong..
damn pedas! yet nice. i was sweating like ..
how come i did not find any nasik lemak like dis,
in Perak eh? heh.

the telor setengah masak..
hehe..

got the chance to be in ere, after like so many nice thgs heard about dis place. it is jst a small end-lot outlet, but nice. sesuai for the whole family. and the foods - fabulous. had a great time there.. and ate a lot, too.


heh.

feel like feverish, but i gotta be at work for 10.30am - for the whole 2hrs - aku ada kelas wit the stdnts. might be leavin after the class la kot.. :-(

its Sunday!

i dun hav the intention to update dis - until i'd be in the office trow morn. dats the initial thang. but havin the facility for doin so - i think, i'd better off doin so.. kinda miss dis moment; sitting lazyly in dis nice couch doin my ventilating thang, properly. heh.


thgs went well. UPM thingie - aku managed to finished up coupla thgs yg aku need to be done. its gonna be coupla months from now, when i'd be totally done wit the whole thang. no more UPM, God sake.


heh. tot block. i'd be writting more lah, nanti.

wat else?

Its a beautiful Saturday. Beautiful weekend, to be precise. I jst want to spend my time well, go thru it all well, and enjoy every secs of it, well. At time like dis, u wld feel like u wanna stay like dis - in dis same environment, same moment - all the time. And u dun wanna ask for anythg else, anymore..

ikat tie? *puke*

easy-my-arse.

i know wat ur goin to say. i never learn. or i am che lemB wit a capital B. the fact is - i hate doin dis. theres no readiness in me to learn doin it - ikat tie. argkhhh.. its not like i never learn - i did. so many times. aku ingat dulu - aku siap tempek poster on hos to tie dis and dat - all sort of knots in dealing wit neck-tie. tp - argkhhh..


aku used to hav Soleh at home - he's good in doin dis. and aku jst let him did dat to me. but now no more.. i am strugglin myself in doin it, myself. the end-result - i look chomot. Apiz pernah jgk offer 'ko bwk je tie yg tak berikat or tie2 ko yg baru beli tu.. meh aku ikat kan utk ko' kinda thang.. tp - smpai bila eh? segan la.. sementara dia ikat tie kat tengkok dia, usually he'd go blabbering like an old auntie dis and dat. heh. penat la..


i am havin like 5 new ties kat rumah - yg aku nak pakai sgt, tp malas nak ikat. aku dah siap letak few baju for the new ones, tp the tie.. still dlm kotak. heh.


i gez - there'd always coupla thgs in life, yg kita malas sgt nak belajar, for we dun really want to.. and as for me - ikat tie is one of em.


argkh!

big lights will inspire u.. *heh*

i decided to drive my 'old' car yet 'feeling all brand new' - my Iswara Aeroback, to work today. its been weeks since she's in the bengkel - tukar enjin, tayar and a lot more - thanks to Ajak; he had like so many frens yg aku can jst send the car to him (wit a lump cash too, of course) and go back home w/o feelin any worries in me about the shait - and when it is done; the car will be send rite into my porch! heh. nice, aye? and yeah - it feels like a 'brand new' now. smooth and more. i love dis car so much - the sound system is nice, the dvd/cd/mp3 player is one of my fav, wit steering kechik yg aku fully customize for a bit of taste - waktu aku 'muda-muda' dulu. hahaha..


so dis mornin - as usual; aku lowered down the driver's seat (aku ingat mum selalu berleter when i do so - she was like 'along nak drive ke, nak tido neh?' kinda thang.. haha), bukak tingkap luas2, put on the Jay Z feat Alicia Keys's Empire State of Mind (yayy!) - and drive off to the office. its the usual thang dat i do every mornin (except kalo aku drive the other car la..), yet somehow aku sort of 'forgetting to enjoy every single, little thg it brings..'. ermm..


coupla thgs to settle dis mornin. the stdnts wanted me to be there for diorg ada buat program rehab wit some pts., and i gotta be there 'to make thgs nice'. around 9am may be. at 2 till 5pm; class wit the juniors on Psychology; Memory.


despite of aku terjaga from sleep around 2.50am in the morning and had to struggle like hell to get back to sleep.. i think, thgs r better now. i mght be getting used to it la kot. i did some reading, packing some thgs - i am preparing myself to move into my new place, real soon.


breakie, lets!

2 benda yg tiada kaitan.. heh.

my thang;
Nokia XM 5800

frankly speaking, aku sayang dis Nokia Xpress Music 5800 neh. my first so-called phone yg aku guna; using dis touch pad tech. fully touch pad plak tu.. of course - waktu nak beli dulu; aku dah fikir abes dah regarding it - the pro and con of using the touch pad phone neh (did i? heh). aku ingat lagik, my first choice dulu was E71 - i jst love the shape, the look - nampak mcm mantap je since body dia look nice.. but then - the small key-pad. and bila aku belek2 nak beli, aku remember the salesman ckp 'dis E71 meant for lady la.. jari dorg kecik2, senang..', aku sentap jap. sah2 la - jari2 aku bagak2.. mati le nak taip sms/mms nanti. heh. and the guy rekemen aku dis Nokia XM 5800. aku ingat lagik - waktu tu dia baru je smpai M'sia.. baru launch, katernyer.. and it was on the 6 Jan 2009; when i finally decided - heh, Nokia XM 5800 - dats it!


its been a year now - a year wit coupla days to go for a year and a month. aku love dis phone - tho, so much.. for so many reasons. it is like all-in kinda thang.. of course la - jgn la banding dis one dgn yg grande2 out there.. mmg tak la! cuma the lacking is - tak dak key-pad. pyh sgt2 nak ber-sms waktu meeting w/o lookin at the phone.. and camera dia - tak bley off the sound! keji lah.. sah2 la kalo nak candid gmbr saper2 w/o being un-noticed, tak bley! heh.


baru2 ni, aku tergeak nak change the phone.. kinda adore Blackberry nyer series. iPhone kinda hot, tp still; despite all the specs - it is still fully touch-screen. aku was nearly nak angkut satu semlm - tp fikir2 balik.. heh, where am i goin to put dis Nokia XM 5800? its been a year now, and aku still in love wit it well.. rasa mcm semlm je aku beli. heh.


damn. how time flies eh?

---

a huge drama went around in the college ari neh. mcm biasak - aku la jadik tempat dumping all rasa tak puas ati stdnts.. incldg pengajar itself. aku nye inbox hp tiber full dgn stdnts nye msges - sound full of anger, dissatisfaction, hatred and such - over so many thgs. aku tak nak masuk campur - dis is beyond my control. out of my hand. jst dat aku kesal dgn sikap rakan2 sekerja aku yg easily get influenced wit own/personal agenda.. byk unsettled biz.. then stdnts tempat dorg dumping all the negative feelings and such. sian budak2 neh.. heh.


ask me how it is - i'll tell u dis. i dun believe in goin around showing ur tantrum, marah2 stdnts and treat em like rubbish. they r no more a small kids. they need some kinda 'special' approach to be deal wit; for they r damn sensitive and easily get retaliate. but some ppl jst dun understand. i aint sure wat they r tryin to show. or proof.. it aint gonna help, God sake. it'll make thgs worst.


aku sian dgn Ajak. and his stdnts. i hope dis 'sour-ness' around settle la nanti. i hate seein member2 aku seniri berpuak2, tarik2 muka on some unreasonable shait. and aku hate to move around in sort of environment yg penuh dgn hatred, tense among the stdnts..


aiyoo.. life is simple. and beautiful. y do we hav to make it worst, eh?


:-(